If I put myself in her shoes

No, this is not about shoes shoes.
This is meant, if I were you.
Another lengthy English post, please bear with me 'kay?

I watched several Asian movies last night, and boy what a night.
What I remembered the most were Hello School Girl, I know you know it.
And how I missed the times I watched videos; movies, MVs, you name them, with you.

Then my attention was caught on this movie, Wedding Dress.
It's one of the tear jerker, I didn't know whyyy I watched this last night.
My eyes went puffy in the morning -.-

Well, it's about a single mother and her daughter.
The mother has a cancer, typical Korean movie, and she kept it secret from the daughter.
However, the daughter knew and didn't let her mother know that she know.  Confuse? Let it in...
So each tried to do the best to fulfill other's wishes without them knowing.
Well... you can think the end of the movie.  That's why I said, TEAR JERKER.
And I am sucker for drama which revolves around family.

So, while I was watching this, I kept thinking of you.
Somehow the little girl resembles you, not in the physical way.
And the main topic in my head was, while I was her (your) age...

She is the only child, which you are right now at the house.
While I was your age, the house was never quiet.
Especially you were still a baby... well not a baby, still a lil kid :P
There were people in each corner of the house, in each bedroom.
I don't know how is it in the house at this moment, but I bet it is different than before.

She got picked up after school by her mother.
Well...
While I was your age, our mother picked me up.  She was the one who offered it, most of the times.
Even when I was still in high school.
But we know that now... it's impossible, right?

And one thing that I remembered the most, that the girl hide her tears, the girl is really strong.
And I know that you are too.

Well bad days sometimes happen and you messaged me about it, yet I couldn't do anything except praying and wishing the best for you.
I kept thinking, if I was in your shoes, I can't always cope it by myself.  I need my siblings with me.

I am sooo proud of you, you know?

And when you messaged me about the thing that got you excited, starts in December.
I was reallllly happy to know that, I am until now.
Because when I was your age, I was started to think about it too.
And boy how excited I was when it really happened.

You're a lucky girl, keep that in mind please.
You have your siblings and family who loves you and prays for you.
You have friends that you enjoy being around with.
Your wishes, most of them, came true.
And
You also have our parents for yourself now :P
As much as I wanted to be there, I just can't right now.

I love you.
You're the funniest little girl I have ever known.
And you're always be a lil baby in my eyes.

Do your best, STUDY, don't forget to pray, and love those around you.
And you'll feel the love back, even stronger than you gave to them.
I hope for the best for your school, I know you can do it.

Let's do exciting stuff whenever I am there okay?
Tell me what you want to do, and let's do it together if you want.

Love

The world in my eyes

To be honest, the world is small.
For Indonesian people that is.

Everybody is somewhat related to everyone else.
We like to socialize, make ourselves busy, and... I don't know, we like to do more than just stay inside our house.

Join an organization? Why not?
You can experience more and meet new people that are more than you can imagine.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

another letter about love, this is for you Mochammad Reeza

I am sorry if it's in English, but I am sure you can understand this very well.

Cause you passed your English test toh? hihi...

I was literally counted down the days to post this.  And here it comes.

I think it's quite normal, for brother and sister doesn't really close with each other, I think.

Cause I know my friends who are.

Well, I am close with him... I am sure of that... I am.

Yea... well, to be honest, I don't really know you THAT much.  I bet your friends knows you very well, better than I do.

You're quiet, in my opinion.
I don't know you're favourite food, all I know is that you hates vegetables, any kind.
I think your favourite clothing line is H & M (?) at least that is what pops into my mind.
I don't know your favourite colour, so if I want to give you clothes as presents, my concious minds are in doubts in terms of the colour.
And, somehow, I think you like (or prefer) to spend your time outside of the house.  It's one of the things that I feel bad about but yeah you're old enough to do so.

O! and whenever you do something, you unconsciously opens your mouth.  And we always making fun of you.

You're, how to say this, famous among girls, I think.  Well I think you are being single is a no no, I have never seen you being single for long.  You're always in a relationship, and that's nothing wrong with that.

My heart was broken once by you, yet it was your decision and I can't say anything about it.

I came to this place cause I knew you were there, yeah I'm on my own now but that doesn't scares me.

Of course I was shocked when I knew what do you wanted to do, but that didn't last long.

I know you'll do great, and I am really happy that you know what you wanted to be.

Happy birthday.

Gefeliciteerd met jouw verjaardag, veel sucess, blijven gezond, blijven geluk, en blijven optimist.

I loooove youuuu~
I always hope for the very best for you, and you'll be someone who can make your parents, family, and friends very proud.

I am happy for you~

Kusjes!
Deil

kiss changes it all

A kiss is a kiss.
It's less physically intimate than a hug.
It's shorter than a holding hand.

Yet, it gives a huge different, if for both parties, it's good.
But if one-sided, it's a nightmare.

My early morning rambling ends here.

assumption, should I be happy about this?

I guess this happened yesterday.
Well, I was waiting for an exam.  I just sat there on my favourite place in the class, silently prayed that everything is going to be okay.  Then this guy, who sat 2 seats in front of me, looked at me and said.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Err, yes, if I can answer them.'

'Well I think you can, cause I think you are... kind of girl who'll get perfect score in everything.' 

Then he came up to me and asked few question about the subject of the exam, and I helped him... in some way.

First thing first, I am not THAT student.  I don't get a perfect mark on EVERYTHING I DO.
There are students who are much much much better, believe me, I know.


I don't know though, that wasn't the first time people came up to me and told me that.
Even the teachers, well, some said that I can take this particular course cause they believe I can do them.
Seniors! yeah seniors, they told me in front of the crowd that, I am not the kind of student who have to struggle to get good marks.
In my heart, deep down, I just shake my head and deny them.



Well, it is nice for people consider me that way.  Alhamdulillah.
That means I have... a good impression (?) and they believe me.
Hmm, okay... well, I can do whatever they suggested, I am capable, but the problem is, do I want to?


To be honest, I am an-easy-to-get-bored type of person.
I'll do everything in a good mood in the beginning, but then... the passion just disappear.
If I do whatever people suggested, I am soooo afraid I'll let them down eventually.

So yeah basically,
Dear people, who knows me or just passer byers, thank you for what you told me about me being a good student and all.
But sometimes, those words are just burden to them (well for me especially).

With love,
Me