i wonder if it's true...

I randomly lurked on the biggest net forum in Indonesia

(you know what I mean :P)

and I stumbled on this thread, about sleeping pattern

which time is good, bad, best sleeping position, etc.

And I read something about, don't sleep at certain time

cause you'll lose half of your consciousness

I was like, hmm... interesting

cause I knew that we are forbid to sleep at that time, but I didn't know anything about this

So long story....... I ended lounging on my bed

it was comfy, but cold cause it was raining outside and the heater wasn't on -.-

then...... I fell asleep

I had weird dreams (emphasis on the dreams)

I cannot say it cause it related to my friends, well... weird stuffs about them -.-

I feel sooo tired now, even when I was typing this I wasn't fully conscious

and also something weird happened

I believed I was in a deep sleep, very very deep

but I heard this knocking sound from outside

couple of times, and each time I could literally counted how many he or she did it

my room is next to the front door (the only room), so I was thinking... why don't they knock at my window to notice that somebody is outside?

I got up, tried to find my glasses and my hairpin, I stumbled along the way cause my eyelids were heavy to find my slippers

When I got out, nobody was there

I believe I heard it, very clearly, as clear as I listen to Dolby Surround Sound

it took me few minutes to realize the situation and my poor condition

(messy hair, wore slippers in vice-versa way, etc)

I wonder...

I checked the time and it was, few, minutes before 6 pm

I was like... I wonder if 'something' woke me up to prevent this further

cause my alarm is sucks anyway, I am never wake up cause of my alarm

it could be, right? who knows?

well, I believe Allah knows it, very very well

I was like, subhanallah... alhamdulillah I could still awake and do what I have to do

Whatever that was, I am grateful

I won't do it again... inshallah

One of my weird experience abroad

I won't forget it and, of course, I learnt something from it

P.S : what a beautiful Sunday today :)

spring do come true~~~

Happiness

yes, one of the random things that i stumbled upon these days

am i happy?

at this moment, i like to look back

i am on this road, an unknown road, i just started it

few moments ago i would still be thinking, hey i'm liking this...

yet, some thing encourage me to titled my head a bit and there it is

feeling of emptiness...

unsatisfied...

regret...

sad...

i am thinking, what if... would i be... ?

is this what i wanted to do?

this feeling is always there, we can't do anything for it

i am looking at other people, mashallah they are happy with what they are... even though it's not what they were planning before

what about me?

i was whining, muffling my screams onto the pillow, and stomping my feet...

yes, i WAS not happy

jan '10

wow, it's already 2010...

i started this blog since 2008, yet rarely to update

(who's going to read it anyway? :P)

anyway, mid 2009 i started my uni life

yes, university, finally

i have never expected to take this major, but whaddaya know?

and also in this country? it's beyond expectation, never crossed in my mind, ever

well, ehem... january was one of my busy month

it was, i would never expect this kind of things

yet Allah gave me chance to experience and learn from it, alhamdulillah

i had 4 exams, 3 in a row in 1 week

on that week, i tried my luck in advertising my room to others

and yeayy i got a respond, a positive one

but hey, wait a minute, where will i go??

i don't have a room, there was no response from the internet which i subscribed to... o my God...

well fortunately there's this family who's kindly enough to spare their extra room for me, i felt so blessed :)

hey, when will i moving out?

'we can pick you up at thursday night'

i was like

'sure, why not?' :)

dun dun dun, i had an exam on the next day, the one that i like the least -.-

so basically that thursday was busy;

- went out early morning to find landlord's office,

- had to wait outside in the cold weather... rain, snow (or was it ice?), etc for an hour cause a person whom i was waiting for got lost on his way,

- the thingy went well, and faster than i expected,

- so i came back and pack few things up, DONE! in a matter of minutes ;)

- i got picked up at 8 then settle in the temporary place,

woke up early to catch the bus cause i need to take my bike that i left in my previous place,

yet i was late by 2 minutes -.-

so... another 15 minutes to spend in the cold and wet morning,

arrived at the station, i couldn't find THE bus,

o God no -.-... then i took another bus which i had to walk few minutes from the stop near the place,

WHAT A DAY

and, well, i could do the exam, hopefully it will turn out good,

inshallah...

great things to start the year,

even tough it was tiring like craaaazy, yet i knew that Allah know that i can do these...

don't want to whine anything about my life at the moment, cause i know i am one of the lucky ones in this situation :)

alhamdulillah

*sigh ...

did i ever tell why i was planning to study abroad?
since the day i became an exchange student ones

well. truthfully, i don't know, till now
all my life, since primary school, i got surrounded by books
schools, tutor, and grades ...

I AM SOOOO BORED
i never knew what i want
i never plan my future
when will i do this, that, etc etc

i had wonderful feelings when i went to UK
few burdens fell off from my shoulders
my head felt lighter
my steps felt shorter, cause i knew i enjoyed something ...

it doesn't mean that i don't like it here
i love it
i was born here
indonesia is in my blood till death do us part
it just that, there's this 'brainwash' or you can say influence when i was little,
you'll express yourself more somewhere

i know i'll leave my family behind
my lovely family, my frends
but, hey, we'll meet up again
if we don't have a chance in this world, i'm sure we'll meet up some-where-that-we-all-know
it's a beautiful world, if i'm not doing these now ... when will it be?

i don't care about the uni grades and shit
i'm gonna be a wife and a mom anyway :P

i'm just not that into it

sorry,
you may nudge me if you must
you may yell at me if you want
you may punch me if you can

at the extreme,
you may kill me if you need,
but you have to handle EVERYTHING in the end

may Allah bless you,

I love you, to death
it's just, this matter ... not really my thing
I always love you

thinking of you

sounds familiar?
it's a title of Katy Perry's song
i am loving it, it's a must listen song at this time =P

it's a type of song that ... you don't have to listen it every time to know the lyric,
the melody, etc
it'll 'click' itself
it's very catchy, fits well with my moody days =D
to you all love birds ... i think this is sooo you
joke ...

comparisons are easily done
once you've had a taste of perfection
like an apple hanging from a tree
i picked the ripest one, i still got the seeds

you said move on, where do i go?
i guess second best is all i will know

* cause when i'm with him, i am thinking of you
thinking of you
what you would do if
you were the one who was spending the night
oh i wish that i was looking into your eyes

you're like an indian summer
in the middle of winter
like a hard candy, with a surprise center
how do i get better?
once i've had the best
you said there's tons of fishes in the water
so the waters i will test --- what a cool girl ;)

he kissed my lips
i taste your mouth
he pulled me in
i was disgusted with myself
*
you're the best
and yes i do regret
how i could let myself let you go
now the lesson's learned
i touched i was burned
oh i think you should know
*
your eyes, looking into your eyes
looking into your eyes
oh won't you walk through and bust in a door and take me away ...
oh no more mistakes
cause in your eyes i'd like to stay ...